Why You Must Leave Your Ordinary World To Find Yourself
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You are change.
Life is constant change. One simply needs to look at nature, with its incessant rhythms, cycles, deaths and rebirths, to know this. And since we are Life itself, we experience the same: a never-ending and inevitable flow of inner and outer transformation.
Yet a part of us deeply resists this inevitability, and the current of growth and evolution. We want to cross that finish line, and finally be happy…forever. As if Life was something we could ‘win’ at.
But where would the fun be in that?
You see, as Life itself, our natural state is expansion and growth, alternated with periods of hibernation and contraction. Right up until the day we die, we are growing in one way or another, may it be physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually.
So why is it so difficult for us to truly say yes to change? And what are the steps that must happen in order to allow it, embrace it, and even dance with it?
Your Ordinary World
Your Ordinary World, as the name suggests, is what is ‘ordinary’ to you. It is the world of your senses that you have become accustomed to: the environments you live, eat, work and sleep in; the people you hang around with, play with, co-create with; the culture, society, even the country and football team that you associate with.
The term comes from Joseph Campbell’s description of the Hero’s Journey, a map of the journey of the Soul and human psyche based on his lifetime of study of humankind’s myths, religions and tales from all over the world.
In the Hero’s Journey, when the child within us encounters the pain, humiliation, rejection and realities of human existence, it ‘goes into hiding’, unconsciously changing him or herself in order to survive.
This is especially true for us sensitive and empathic people: as children we are wide open to the world, and our only way to survive in that environment is to dumb, numb and deny our true selves.
It is a natural process of closing off our psyches to the painful emotions that we experience in our childhood, and a very useful one indeed, since for the infant these feelings are deadly. Think of it like a seed adapting to its environment; shifting its growth trajectory and needs according to the soil in which it is planted.
And so we adapt our way of being, thinking, feeling, speaking and moving, creating a new personal identity for ourselves. This affects just about every single part of our life, from the way we breathe to the way we interact to the way we have sex.
This colours every single one of our life choices, decisions and action at an unseen, unconscious level: over time creating a world which mirrors, reflects and reinforces how we feel inside.
Addicted to ourselves.
Your Ordinary World reinforces what you have learnt to define as ‘you’: your habitual ways of being, doing, feeling and thinking.
Now, if you’ve studied any of Joe Dispenza’s work (and if you haven’t I strongly recommend it - start with ‘Becoming Supernatural’), then you’ll know that the way we think, act and above all feel becomes hardwired into us at a biological, chemical, and neurological level.
But not just that: we literally become addicted to this state of being. Our minds and bodies crave the chemicals, just like any other drug. And it doesn’t matter what that state of being is; you could be addicted to being stressed, over-stimulated and frustrated just as much as you could be addicted to living in joy and harmony.
If there’s anything you’ve been addicted to, from food to drugs, work or screens, then you’ll know just how hard it can be to let go of the addiction.
Now imagine being addicted to who you are: to your thoughts, feelings and way of being in the world. Like with any addiction, the moment you attempt to change or remove the thing you’re addicted to, all hell breaks loose.
So in this case, any movement towards changing who you are threatens your sense of personal identity, your very existence in the world: after a short while you go cold turkey, and run straight back into the comforting arms of what you know, i.e who you know yourself to be, i.e your regular modus operandi, i.e your regular thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
Like a prison from which you cannot escape.
The trap of the Ordinary World
Our Ordinary World has an important role in our childhoods to keep us safe and protected, giving us a sense of orientation and identity.
But it can also become our own personal prison, if the process continues unchecked into our adult lives, running them behind-the-scenes from our unconscious minds.
As we grow older, it moves from the family realm to the wider realms of our cities, homes, social media feeds, workplaces, gyms etc - most of which are rooted in the illusion of separation. If we are unaware of it, we allow it to reinforce our sense of identity and self. Every single day, every single moment, we reinforce the illusory image of not only who ‘we’ are as an individual, but also who ‘we’ are as a species: separate, competitive, disconnected, lacking and limited.
And this happens even with those we love the most; the people around us carry in their own consciousness images of who they ‘know’ us to be. If you know anything about the power of group intention (and if not, go read Lynne McTaggart’s ‘Power of 8’), and if you know how we sensitive people feel and often integrate such projections as our own, then you can begin to understand why our Ordinary World is often in reality a big, cosy, comfortable prison.
A prison cell that we decorate with hand-me downs from other people, then congratulate ourselves on being ‘free’.
But who’s fault is it?
So, I hear you scream, who is to blame for this giant hot mess?
Of course we can blame others for it: our corrupt governments, our education systems which slowly box children in, our parents, etc.
But the reality is that we’ve been operating, personally and collectively, on a level of consciousness in which we have willingly allowed this to happen. We have been an active part in co-creating it with our own intention.
Your true power lies in taking absolute responsibility for all things in your life. This included.
If you can accept that you have been the creator of absolutely everything in your Ordinary World, you also accept that you have the power to change it
So.. how can you free yourself?
This may sound like a question straight out of the Matrix, and indeed, leaving our Ordinary World is a little bit like the movie, minus the black latex suits and bullet-time (although if thats what you fancy then be my guest).
Leaving our Ordinary World - even just for a little while - can be a challenging and adventurous journey, with many twists and turns along the way. But there is no greater pleasure and satisfaction than that of saying yes to the rollercoaster ride that is Life, and reconnecting with the absolute joy of changing, growing and evolving into who we truly are - our most natural state of being.
The number one thing to remember is that Life is always supporting you to change, inviting you to return to your true natural state of growth, harmony and wellbeing. You simply have to let it take the lead.
Of course, like any personal transformation there are no clear-cut, step-by-step recipes that will work for everyone. However here is a simple process to get you started.
First, set your intention to be free. Even if you don’t know what from yet: connect with your inner guidance, with the force of Life within, and ask for its support.
Ask to be shown all the ways in which you are inauthentic, trapped and limited, in all areas of your life. Set an intention to step out of your Ordinary World in a way which is gentle yet powerful.
Feel what it would feel like to be free from your Ordinary World, living in a more expanded and flowing way, in harmony with Life. Sit with this intention every day, feeling into and anchoring yourself in that state.
Then, over the coming days, take a deep look at yourself and your current reality, with as much honesty as you can. In order to be truly free you must first understand what it is you need freedom from. In order to do that you must allow Life to show you:
Take some time to contemplate and journal about which aspects of your current state of being and reality are serving you, and which are not. Imagine yourself like the Marie Kondo of your inner world; notice what sparks true inner joy and expansion, and what doesn’t.
Remember that there is really no right answer: we are all completely unique. Going to the gym 5 times a week could be of true service to one person, while to another it could feel completely joyless. Above everything else, trust your inner knowing.
Above all else, have fun and play with your exploration. Follow your curiosity and sense of wonder - and see where that takes you!
The following are some good topics to explore:
The way you think on a daily basis: are your thoughts serving you, or are they sabotaging you?
The things you do on a daily basis, your daily routine
The people you surround yourself with, work with, have sex with
The environments you eat, work, sleep in
The music you listen to and the things you watch on TV, the internet, social media
The way you look after yourself: food, exercise, sleep, self-care
You can also try the following in your exploration, which will give you new perspective and space for the answers to come to you.
Head into nature: the energy of nature can take you straight out of your Ordinary World - especially if you live in a city. Nature offers a mirror to your true self: the harmony, connectedness and love of Life itself.
Decrease any outside influence: turn off the notifications on your phone, go on a social media fast and spend some time in solitude.
Make small changes to your routine and environment: take a different route to work, sleep in the guest bedroom, or do a juice cleanse for a few days.
Go solo travelling: physically leaving your Ordinary World helps to see it from a fresh perspective. You could take a day-trip to somewhere new, book a weekend away (or even come for a Soul Quest in Crete).
As you begin your exploration and sit with your intention for freedom, you may notice some changes already happening inside and outside of you. Old fears and feelings may arise too: give them space to do so. I’ll be sharing soon how to move deeper along the path, and be with all the resistance and uncomfortable emotions that may come up as you leave the known boundaries of your Ordinary World.