Every month, I'll be interviewing one of the love:Fitness team. This month, I'm speaking to Ed Mancera, one of the two Core Energetics teachers involved in the love:Fitness Programme. Here's what he has to say about the topic of the month, L-O-V-E...
So, Ed, what exactly do you do?
In essence I am a therapist, facilitator and healer.
How did you get into your work and what do you love about it?
I would say this journey started for me as a child when for about a week I had dreams and 'premonitions' that a person close to me would die. About a week later my older brother, who was 10 years older than I was was brutally murdered.
It would be an understatement to say that this was an event that shook and shaped my life to the core and it defined it in many ways changing the family's dynamics and direction. My family would move from Colombia to London within 2 years and my parents would subsequently divorce two years following the move.
In my early 20s having not processed and digested those events, I was in a place where felt very lost and saw no point in being alive; I felt as if I was walking through life akin to a zombie.
I then had a profound experience; I went from feeling like I had no purpose in being - like I was going to die and I went to a place where I felt truly alive; I gained a new awareness of what an awesome and precious gift life is. I felt, I feel and think that the world is an amazing and wonderful place full of opportunities to create happiness and where people are truly amazing.
This profound experience was however not a 'single' event or thing that happened in one day but it was more like a process that unfolded over a period of time in which I was confronted by 'unpleasant and undesirable' unexpressed feelings and emotions that I felt had the power to 'swallow' me or overwhelm me.
It was an enlightening experience; it made me came into to contact with a deep desire and longing in me to support others to open all the way to the core of their being, to the totally of themselves and bring their creativity and gifts to the world. This is what I love about my work, seeing my clients flourish into the powerful and loving people they are is nourishing and deeply fulfilling for me.
What is your definition of love?
Carl Jung said 'One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious'. I truly believe this and live this as my truth; I passionately believe in honouring, listening and accepting even the most of unacceptable thoughts, feelings and behaviours that are part of our human experience - it is only through this practice that I believe we practice 'Love'.
We Love ourselves when we are able to own and embrace the totality of who we are - the darkest of places within us, those feelings and behaviours in our psyche that we wouldn't dare look at let alone show the world. In this process we make friends with that which is unconscious in us and which drives our destructive behavioural patterns and thoughts/feelings rather than disowning it and allowing it unconsciously to gain power over us.
It feels important to clarify that this does not mean that we have permission to act out that negativity in our life. It means that through different processes we un-identify with it, we become aware of it and as such see it for what it is. This is the process of alchemy, of transforming the mind.
When we first meet someone who we like, we feel the attraction to the them and feel our own life-force and sexuality - this is what is normally called 'falling in love'. We follow this attraction through and form a relationship with the other and as time goes by we get to know the person better and encounter his/her 'shadow'; those aspects of the person which we don't like.
These are aspects, actions, habits that the other has; things they do or say but they are unaware as to why they do them. If we don't like these aspects of the other they will cause an emotional reaction in us and our impulse will be to 'change' them or place a demand on the other to change them.
Unfortunately, this is short sighted as other has adopted that attitude for a reason; at some point in their lives that attitude or behaviour got them through a struggle and the person decided, consciously/unconsciously, that the only way to 'survive' or feel pleasure in life would be adopt that attitude.
In turn, the other will also become aware of our own shadow and they may have a reaction to it; then the relationship goes from the 'falling in love' stage to the 'I love you but, this and that has to change'. We may not be as honest as that, in actually fact, it is more likely that we would be looking to end the relationship.
So my definition of Love is the process of knowing someone and learning to accept that in them which we dislike. It is only through loving the other unconditionally that we have a chance of co-creating a reality in which both people can be happy. However, it is important to note that as a basic principle, we cannot fully love and accept another until we have learned to fully love and accept ourselves.
What do think prevents love and health and how can we return to it?
Research has proven the correlation between emotional & physical health; our thoughts/emotions have an energetic charge that affect and influence our physical bodies. We talk about comfort eating, eating disorders, under active thyroids, asthma, type 2 diabetes and even cancer. Those are all illnesses that have an underlying psychological dynamic - an issue that the person has not been able to resolve in their psyche and has then manifested in the physical body, because it has to be dealt with at some level.
We return to loving ourselves and therefore wholeness and health by examining our negative habits and pleasure, by accepting what is and connecting to our longings and dreams. By knowing and asserting on all levels of our being that we have a right to be alive and a right to be happy - claiming that right and living our lives from the fullness of who we are in essence will lead to a enriching, healthy and fulfilling life.
Want to experience Ed's work - and learn to create a healthy life you love? Book a free 15-min love:Fitness Consultation now!
Love & Health,